Confessions of an Engaged Wedding Planner // Building Team Bride


Asking your bridesmaids (or bridesdudes or Team Bride!) is a fun and important step in your wedding planning journey. But before we get to the actual “asking” part, here are some of my thoughts on choosing wedding parties in general:

The must haves

One of the early checklist items on your to-do list, choosing a wedding party (both bridesmaids and groomsmen) should be a fun step that gets you excited about your wedding planning. Think about who your nearest and dearest are, who can you not picture your day without by your side?

The size

Even though it can feel overwhelming to have to choose only a handful of friends and family to be in the wedding party, smaller groups tend to feel more intimate and from a planner’s perspective, are so much easier logistically. Bonus: you can always honour other friends and family with special roles throughout your ceremony or reception to still include them as part of the celebrations.

The dynamics

When choosing your group, consider how they will get along. You will all be spending a lot of time together throughout your engagement (parties, bachelor, bachelorettes etc.) and you want to make sure you are choosing individuals that are a true reflection of the tone you want for your celebrations. Are you a party crowd? Maybe your shy cousin will hate all the activities the rest of you have planned. Are there exes in the mix? Try to minimize any potential for drama - after all, this is about you and your partner and you want your group to celebrate with you and not make this time about them.

The commitment

Being asked to be in someone’s wedding party is a tremendous honour. It is a commitment to help and support the engaged couple to an extent that is discussed and agreed upon by everyone. My girls for example know that a lot of the traditional roles (i.e. planning the shower or bachelorette) won’t be as pronounced (surprise surprise) as I already have a lot of my own ideas and plans. You will probably call on your team to help at some point, and they will also invest a lot of time and money into being a part of your celebrations. Focus on the good, stay positive and remember to HAVE FUN.


If things go wrong and you feel that some team members don’t fit and need out, don’t hesitate to change things before your day (obviously the earlier the better). After all, you need to feel good about who you surround yourself with and the kind of vibe your want for your planning and wedding experience. Trust your gut and do what feels right for you!

Now on to the fun part!

These days there is no shortage of “bride squad” merchandise and gifts you can find to ask your friends to be a part of your big day. For me, I wanted it to be a gift that they would actually be able to use and to use it as an opportunity to reflect on our meaningful friendship.

Building the Pastiche Team Bride

I really wanted to ask all of my girls in person, prior to our May engagement party, but with one living in BC and one temporarily living in New Zealand, I had to think of something else.

A small gift box for each girl seemed like the best way to incorporate some useful and fun items to ask them to be a part of my special celebrations.

First, my maid of honour, my sister Roxy, would not stop nagging me about why I haven’t chosen my party yet. I did want to keep the mini “proposal” a surprise and every time I got close, she’d ruin it by asking when it’s going to happen. I asked Danielle and Vanessa one night at my home, Eva when she came home for our engagement party (she was so not getting the hint that I needed to see her alone to do this!) and Zoë last once she finally returned from New Zealand! So even though I wasn’t able to get everyone together and ask together, I did have a nice moment with each one (and caught the reactions on tape to cherish forever!).

For the boxes, I went with a fun photo of me and each girl; Sugarfina candies; scented candles; some bubbly and champagne flute (or tea and a mug!) and of course my favourite part, the handwritten cards reflecting on our many years of friendship. Now I do love the idea of personalized champagne flutes for everyone, but knowing my girls, I knew not all of them would enjoy that so I’ve decided to save that for our actual getting ready morning.

It was so fun putting this together and thinking of what each girl would appreciate and use. I am so excited to have these 5 by my side and they’ve already been the most incredible and supportive team.

Now onto bridesmaid dress shopping!

Boxes, Frames - Home Sense

Cards, Sugarfina candies, champagne flutes, macaron candles, knot earrings - Posh Home Box

Tea, mugs, quote candles - Indigo

How did you ask your wedding party to be a part of your special day? Let me know below!